Reflecting on my 44th Year

Yes, I just told you my age. This one is a little personal.

The past few months have absolutely flown. Then again, this is nothing new. The past few years I seem to say exactly the same thing. It feels boring to say that all the time. But there ya go.

I’m turning 44 in December and time seems to accelerate as the years go by. As I take a breath to reflect on the year it makes me want to freeze time. This feels more pronounced as I look at my children (I have a life hack further along for this) and it is wild how much they have grown and changed. I realise that time is the most valuable thing we have.

Am I sad that the years are flying by? Well, no. I try to breathe in the moments. Soak them all in. And as they say, time flies when you’re having fun, right?

Hi there! This is me and my husband Phil at home

Time Flies

You know what? I don’t want time to go slower. Do you remember how slow geography class was in year 8? When 45 minutes felt like 6 hours because it was so boring. Time slows down when you’re not doing what you love.

And so the opposite it true. When you’re in that FLOW state, time disappears. What do you do that takes you into that state of flow?

For me, it’s creating. Such as writing here on Substack. I have loved sharing interior design tips and musings with you here. Thank you for subscribing, it is really encouraging. I also loved writing my books, The New French Look and Beachside Modern.

I also find that time disappears when I’m designing. I might be figuring out the spatial planning for a clients kitchen or sourcing that perfect armchair.

I love helping people so that they absolutely love their home. When you live in a space that feels amazing and reflects your taste and lifestyle it is so fulfilling. I love helping create that for others too. This year saw me release the Style Studies Essentials course, which was something I have been wanting to lauch for ages. I hope that it would help you if you didn’t necessarily want to engage a designer and wanted to enjoy the process yourself.

Helping elevate the interior design profession by sharing information is what I am so passionate about. I just love planning new events and connecting with the community of interior designers. It feels so good to know there are like-minded designers out there that ‘get it.’ Right now, I’m working on creating two mastermind streams in 2025. There will be an emerging designer group and an established one. I love organising fun new ways that we can all be the best designers we can be. If you’re interested, pop your name here and I’ll share details soon.

I love my work. My idea of fun is writing, creating and well, working. So that can be good and bad. Because I generally do not stop working (I’m writing this on a Saturday afternoon).

Prioritising What Matters

Time is the most precious thing we have. Money can come and go (or is that something only people with a lot of money say?) but time is something we can never get back.

I do not have the answer for this. I feel the Mum guilt. I feel like I don’t talk to my girls (12 and 10 years old) enough. It’s more things like ‘have you got your lunch box?’ rather than looking at them in the eye and just talking about what they’re doing at school, that kind of thing. There’s never ENOUGH TIME!

This is everything. Indi, Benji, Coco and I outside our home. Photo by Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files

Saying No

The older I get, the easier it is to say no. There simply isn’t enough time to fit in the things that I want to do, let alone the things I don’t.

It is hard to say no to opportunities that might be fun, yet don’t make sense financially.

Sometimes I’ll meet a wonderful client. However if they don’t have the budget to engage me for full-scope work, I can’t take it on although the project would be great. So often I will help them with consultations instead. We figure something out.

It is really important to know when you need to say no to an opportunity that isn’t the right fit. This lesson took me years. Sometimes I still need to relearn it.

Time For Myself

I’m an introvert. I like to be by myself sometimes. I love going for walks alone with an audiobook. But do I have the chance to do it? Not nearly as often as I would like. But what helped a little was joining a book club. We have a new book every month to read, or in my case listen to and it was fantastic!

It’s an online book club called Birds of a Feather - I highly recommend joining.

I wish I could say that this time by myself was spent paddle-boarding, pilates or something a little more exciting. Oh well….

Time Spent With Friends, Old and New

I reconnected with an old friend and it has been wonderful. There is something to be said for spending time with someone that knows you, and you know them, since you were 8 years old. We’ve travelled together, seen each other get married, have babies all that stuff. So if there is someone in your life that you’ve lost touch with, send them a little text now, ok?

2024 saw me start a podcast with the gorgeous and always fabuous Bree Banfield. It’s so good to share the wins and sometimes have a good old rant with someone that just ‘gets it.’ We recorded an episode of Design Anatomy yesterday yet spent an hour just chatting beforehand. Bree, you’re the BEST.

Bree and I are taking a group of 8 designers to Paris and Milan in April 2025 for the trip of a lifetime. We are thrilled with the group of women that have chosen to join us, it is going to be amazing.

For 2025 I want to spend more time with people in REAL life. I’m organising more in-person events for The Design Society where we can all get together and share a meal, drink wine and talk business.

So did you want to know my life hack for trying to savor time with the kids whilst they’re little? I have my eldest finishing primary school and we’re about to start a new chapter. It’s a little scary because it feels like she just started prep - I now know why everyone says that.

BUT we have a third, lucky last kid. He is starting 3 year old kinder next year so here we go again.

My life hack to slow it all down is to have another baby at 41. You’ll be exhausted yet you get to do it all again!

So, what next? What is happening for you in 2025? What do you want to do?

Have a beautiful week,

Lauren

Also, I got the idea for this from a podcast called SPI with Pat Flynn. It’s a good one!