I'm the Dumb Friend

Is changing and growing the worst thing you can do as a friend?

I bit of a personal one for my paid subscribers today. If you’re in business and are going for it, putting yourself out there, then maybe this has happened to you too.

I’ve come to a hard truth: I’ve been the "dumb friend" more times than I’d like to admit. It’s tough to swallow when you realize you were the last to know that you’ve outgrown certain friendships. It stings, it's confusing, and it takes time to step back, reflect, and truly see the bigger picture.

I’m not perfect, and I’ve made mistakes in friendships too. I could have been there more, and sometimes I wasn’t the best friend I could be. But I always try — I’m the one who organizes dinners, brunches, movies, and I’m totally okay with that. I’ve also been the one to let go of friendships when they no longer served me, and I’ve been on the receiving end of that too.

Around eight years ago, my best friend from university took me out for dinner to "dump me." It was a complete shock. We had been so close, and I didn’t see it coming. When she told me it was over, she said, "You’ve changed." She was right—I had.

It was around this time when The Design Files came to my new studio to write a story about me and announce that I was their interior design columnist that my best friend 'dumped me'. Photo by Caitlin Mills for The Design Files